Firstly, THE CRINGE FACTOR!
This was me last year. This is not a put on pose for the camera. It's the real me and how I felt says it all in the picture. Completely drained and not knowing where to turn next.
I use to work in a beautiful country club where I became a gym instructor and personal trainer. I created a buzz in the place. According to members there hadn't been a buzz like that there in a while.
This had a positive and negative effect on the other personal trainers as you could imagine. I became their competition and as I got more successful I became a threat. When people feel threatened it's crazy the levels they can scoop down to in order to put you off being happy and successful.
THE BIGGEST ISSUE FOR ME WAS- IT WAS HARD TO COME TO TERMS WITH WHEN YOU GET SPOON FED DAILY THE IMPORTANCE OF TREATING OTHERS AS YOU LIKE TO BE TREATED. IT MESSED WITH MY HEAD AND AS I TRIED TO UNDERSTAND THEIR BEHAVIOURS I ALLOWED IT TO EAT ME UP AND TAKE MY POSITIVE ENERGY.
GRADUALLY, under the surface I became very unhappy and out of place. I was never the confrontational type because I would feel backed into the corner very easily. Instead, I would notice things others were doing and not bring it up, and just try to ignore it. I would take things personally and in the end I'd blow up instead of being cool and setting things straight as soon as I could. It got too much for me to handle and I left a very successful personal training business behind where I had worked hard to gain respect and a great reputation. Why do you need to know this?
Because for almost 14 years I let people hold me back from my dreams. I let people plant the inadequacy seeds into my head. They were the one with the problems not me. But I became the one with the problem because I allowed their b*ll$hi7! to play a significance in my life.
TODAY, I see things so much clearer and handle things differently. I will speak up when I need to and walk away if someone's baiting non-constructive crap.
I WAS AFRAID OF LOSING CONTROL AND DAMAGING MY WELL EARNED REPUTATION. I BELIEVED SPEAKING UP WOULD LEAD TO ME GETTING INTO TROUBLE.
We are all built differently. Our early home life and experiences to date make us the reactive people we are.
THERE'S HOPE. IF I CAN DO IT ANYONE CAN! You can train yourself to be calmer, stronger and happier in almost any situation.
YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE
If you're lucky enough to find a passion then I ask you this question, are you ready to die for what you believe in? A purpose gives you more guts. Find something you love and learn how to love it more and more.
Dying for what you believe is extreme, but in the context of facing your fears and putting yourself out there the best you can, ESPECIALLY if someone doesn't agree with your views. Not everyone will like you and not everyone will appreciate what your trying to achieve, so suck it up and just get stuck in anyway! "NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP", you will overcome anxiety. Stay busy doing what you love and if you die, which inevitably will happen one day, at least there will be no regrets.
If you need any training tips, I would love to help you. I was lucky to have worked out what I have.
NEVER ENDING THANKS:
I have mind coaches Craig Hiscott, Nick Mawer, Don Macpherson and Ali Gatehouse to thank for these inspired mind training techniques. I also have to thank my beautiful wife and my unborn daughter for getting me through terrible times. I don't know where I'd be without them. A huge thank you to Wendy Dix, one of the kindest ladies ever. Wendy let me borrow her book called 'the Chimp Paradox, Mind Management' by Dr Steve Peters. Thank you to my incredibly supportive nan who believes in me. My Pamp, who inspired me to work hard for my dreams. I also have to thank my in-laws Steve and Jenny Baker, friends Lee and Kez Wilko, Paul & Nicki Edmondson, my father Neil Johnson, my brother Billy Johnson, Nicki B, Rachel & Mike Williams and all my clients. A thank you to my rugby club, Combe Down RFC, who have looked after me and gave me a premise to rebuild my business. It wouldn't be right If I didn't also thank Sam Gooding of Goodings Accounts and Nick Miller, and Andy Fenton who kept us above water. We are going strong now! Thank you for your input of help. I was inspired by all of you and I'll never forget it!
To your dreams, MJ